It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize