dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
