sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
