he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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