Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
handjob tips. give me some.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
