last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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