allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
