You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
