The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize