party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
high people should be assigned attendants
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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