PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
