You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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