found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
i now understand why vodka
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
