is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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