Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He told me they were just razor bumps!
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm sobbing to NWA
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
