can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im just a social blackout drinker.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize