My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
