Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming