I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
