that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
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