i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
