I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
