I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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