After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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