Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I had to cum in my sink.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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