help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
