She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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