I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
