Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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