I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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