So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize