she smelled like a LAN party
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
