you guys were way drunker than both of me
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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