Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
