Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
