carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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