eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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