so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Randomize
