Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
