If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Randomize
