If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
