I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
