Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
