The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
