it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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