Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
