names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
