It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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