Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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