I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
