help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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