If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
