There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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