sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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