I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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