So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
