Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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