man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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