Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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