I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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